There are tons of complicated feelings about harem anime, but we’re not here to talk about any of that. Instead, we are focusing on the kings of the castles. The guys that huge groups of girls flock around – the harem kings. Now, harem anime, no matter how one feels about it, is pretty formulaic. You have different types of girls, and their kings have certain things expected from them by the audience. When they fail in those expectations, for whatever reason, they become immediately less deserving of the harem that surrounds them. While you can fault many a harem protagonist, we are going to focus on the harem kings that plain old don’t deserve the harems that they have.
As I have a reasonable degree of foresight, I already know it needs to be said that this is more a comedy article. So, keep that in mind before you become too upset.
Worst Anime Harem Kings
Makoto from School Days
Let’s start with the easiest, or at least, the most obvious. Makoto, the harem king of this school romance parody series, is, most obviously, as boring as a piece of cardboard. You can’t really fault any harem king for that, it is indeed part of the fantasy that a normal, boring-ass guy can be surrounded by girls. What makes Makoto undeserving is the cheating.
The cheating, depending on how broken of a person you are, makes Makoto either complete scum or an absolute Chad. He essentially starts sleeping with one girl, then two girls, then it descends pretty quickly into sleeping with all the girls. Harem rules say you pick one girl or you pick none of the girls so you can enjoy them all. You can’t just… Sleep with all the girls. That’s how people get stabbed.
Tsukune from Rosario + Vampire
Upon reflection, I think Rosario+Vampire deserved a better protagonist more than his harem deserved a better harem king. As a harem king, he meets the bare bones requirement for serviceability. He treats his girls nicely, he stands up for them, and he clearly has a favorite.
It’s just, the show kind of becomes about him, you know? It’s about a boring human’s story rather than all the fabulous and powerful monster girls around him. A good harem king is boring and out of the spotlight so his ladies can shine. No one is watching a harem show for the guy, they watch good action anime for the main character. Tsukune wants to be an action anime main character, but is, in fact, a harem anime main character.
Rito from To Love Ru
Rito is generally agreed upon to be a pretty boring harem protagonist, but as I said, you can’t fault harem kings for being boring because that would make this list so much longer. The problem with Rito is that everything about Rito happens accidentally. He accidentally gropes in his sleep. He accidentally gets engaged. He was probably accidentally squirted right into his mother by that track record.
A strong harem king must have purpose and a certain level of honesty about his desires. I mean, is it too much to ask to have a protagonist that is awake to do their groping?
Kirito from Sword Art Online
Sword Art Online isn’t a harem anime? I see it differently. I see a harem vying for the affection of a clear harem king who doesn’t deserve them. While Kirito does a little better than some others on this list by at least focusing in his affections on one member, he can be faulted for just kind of letting things happen around him. Kirito is a middle of the road sort of guy in every situation that isn’t cutting things. Sometimes you wonder if he was exposed to another girl more in Sword Art Online if he would have her be his main girl. Were the others just simply too late or too related to him to be the main girl?
Kodaka from Haganai
Oh, Kodaka, you clear copy and paste of Ryuuji from Toradora. You could be so much more. Haganai could have been so much more. Again, I can’t fault him for boringly founding an aimlessly club in the most boring way possible, but I can still bring it up. I can fault him for being a background character in his own harem. Kodaka is just there for the adventures. The girls in his harem have such strong quirks that maybe it drowns him out a bit, but a good harem king that does not make. He is always there on their shenanigans, but he contributes absolutely nothing. He doesn’t even contribute anything meaningful to any relationships.
Keima from The World Only God Knows
I have fundamental problem with The World Only God Knows because the main character hates everyone. He retreats into playing games, which is fine. However, you don’t earn a harem by hating real people and manipulating them as if they were a virtual person. His harem and the god at his side all fall in love with him for having such an attitude, and yet he feels nothing for them. In the end, what makes a harem king more undeserving than not actually liking anyone in the harem he formed?
Minato from Sekirei
You watch Sekirei for the booba. You don’t watch it expecting even a remotely likable harem king. The major problem with Minato is his terminal lack of spine. He gathers a fair few battle-minded beauties, but while they fight for him, he doesn’t fight for them. Even if you are a weak and powerless harem protagonist, you have to put yourself on the line to earn those swoons.
Minato doesn’t do that.
Minato doesn’t even stand up to his harem when they are doing something stupid. He just sits passively by, occasionally mewling.
Goblin Slayer from Goblin Slayer
There are few things worse and more undeserving than a harem king who doesn’t even know he has a harem. Sure, you could say Goblin Slayer isn’t a harem anime, and it certainly is a series about other things, like slaying goblins, but the fact remains that he has himself a harem. A harem of girls who like him because he is strong and cool, and maybe also because he completely ignores them in every way that isn’t about the titular objective.
Negi from Negima
On the topic of harem kings who don’t realize they have a harem, there is Negi. This literal genius child accidentally forms a harem out of his entire class. It makes his harem one of the girthiest in all of anime. While there is a line that should be observed between teachers and students, that is not a line that harem anime feels the need to observe, except in this sole series. It, unfortunately, only observes it because Negi doesn’t realize they all love him for his heroics and magic prowess.
The only time he returns these feelings in any earnest way is in alternate timelines in the series. Even in UQ Holder, which follows his “grandson” turns out to still have him very coy with his feelings for anyone. In the original series, his lack of interest in his harem is explainable because he is a literal child, though that did not stop Nagumo in Mother of the Goddess’ Dormitory, but you would think an adult man would realize some feelings even if UQ Holder doesn’t focus on Negi.
Kazuya from Rent-a-Girlfriend
There is actually something so genius about Rent-a-Girlfriend, wherein the author created perhaps the most unlikable harem protagonist, but didn’t award him with a harem. He, like everyone else with dream of a harem kingdom, has to pay to rent the girls out.
But still, even with the genius of it, Kazuya is just the worst. He ducks his way out of every conflict instead of doing the necessary fantasy-pushing thing and confronting it admirably head on. He wallows in his much deserved self-loathing, but at the end of the day, all of his rental girlfriends start to feel those fuzzy feelings for him. At least it does give the audience its justice and sends him home to the deserved punishment of every bad harem king – hanging out with Palmala Handerson.
Do you know of more bad harem kings you think deserve to be on this list of great shame? Let fans know in the comments section below.
